Here I am.

So this is what it is. Blogging. Such an interesting hobby. I'll be truthful, I never quite understood the motive behind personal bloggers. I always thought, to have a blog I have to write on a consistent topic. Foodies follow food blogs. Fashionistas follow fashion blogs. Stay at home moms follow craft blogs. I guess my information was skewed.

I am here for reasons that are really only of my own. I figure, I'll do what I do, and if by some crazy chance a person stumbles upon it and decides I write in a way that makes them want to continue to read, I have exceeded my daily goal. You see, I am a writer. Or, I desire to be? I'm not quite sure of the correct terminology. I get frustrated when I hear people say, "Oh I am an artist" "I am a photographer" or "I am an author", yet really all they are is a person that highly enjoys said activity and wishes to be known for it. I am that person, that person that desires to be a writer. Desires to be known for something she spoke in ink, something eternal, something profound. My trouble is, I am stuck. Stuck in a big ol' ugly rut.

I do my best writing on my drive to work or in the minutes before I fall asleep. However when I sit down to actually write, all I can think about is your 12 year old diary entry..."Dear diary, today I went to work. It was a normal day, full of crazy people and a psycho boss....". Absolutely not the thing of a good writer and I refuse to jumble my treasured journal with such antics.

So, I decided to swallow my pride and ask a mentor of mine, "How do I get out of this rut? I've never been in such a place". My most amazing pieces have come from a place of deep emotion. It's not that I don't live with great emotion, in fact I tend to be overly passionate about absolutely everything I do. However, my heart is content. When my heart is not content my writing is genius. Absolute genius (well, if I do say so myself). And the response? JUST WRITE.
Excuse me? Do what? Just write? But how?! That is my challenge, I cannot seem to just write. Crazy ass mentors saying crazy things that boggle your mind in ways that you only can hope to understand 1o years down the road. So as the explanation goes, I need something more exciting, something more freeing and outward to write for. I'm not even about to let someone open my actual journal. So, the answer she gave me? Blog.

What. The. Hell. A blog? I have nothing to 'blog' about. I have nothing to say that anyone wants to hear. Yet, she was right.

The purpose of a blog, for me, is to write things that intrigue a soul and invite curiosity, still write all the inner workings of this brain of mine, somethings private and some just random, yet, with the risk of someone stumbling upon it and enjoying it creates an anxiety in me that is actually quite thrilling. And that, should, get me out of my rut.

So here I am. My own little chunk of the world wide web. I do hope I catch some readers, I do hope to be interesting enough for someone to care. But, if I don't, that is okay, because someday I will, someday you will pick up a beautiful hardback and it will be mine.

And to end with the beautiful words of Ms Sylvia Plath.

"I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am."

-H